I feel like crap. And excited. I spoke to the intake nurse at the Cleveland Clinic about my upcoming 3-day visit. She was so kind, nice, helpful...I felt hopeful after talking to her. It was not a feeling I have been accustomed to when it comes to being seen regarding my RSD. I am hopeful that they will be able to come up with some new options, treatment plans and ideas to make this more manageable, help make my life have more life in it again. I have felt as though I have been put through the ringer more than a few times. I am stretched so thin that I am a gossamer wing on a butterfly. Touch me and I may crumble. I don't have the stamina that I once had. I get crushed by stress and after a day that ran 8 am - 10:30 pm on Friday followed up with work again on Saturday until 1:30 - I woke up Sunday with a nearly text book, completely predictable chest cold, rattling cough. It feels like there is not only lighter fluid lit up in my leg -but also in my chest too. My body does not have the stamina that it once had. It does not have the endurance anymore and I am weary. And I am just so tired.
I am hopeful that Cleveland Clinic has some answers for me, some solutions to help me get my life back. At the same time, I don't want to get my hopes up, I don't want to be let down if they can't get me the results, result or any help that I am so hoping for.
It's the classic catch 22 - if I don't have hope, what do I have? But if I have hope and never find it- then the destruction from that isn't good either.
I'm just weary.
