"Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness into dawn
I was me but now she's gone"
Yesterday I had my second block done...my first you may remember was performed at the wonderful and outstanding Cleveland Clinic. This second one was done here - in layover town...I can't bring myself to call this place home. This was a completely different experience from the first. They opted to not place an IV, no drugs to help relax and put me in that lovely la-la land of not caring. Instead - I was laying on a very cold table getting the lovely antiseptic solution slathered across my back and then I waited.....and waited....and waited.... The nurses chatted about the lunch they were ordering, the new scrub designs some store had sales for and what they were doing the upcoming weekend. Me...I shivered, tried to get comfortable and waited.... After what felt like forever, the doctor arrived and we were off and running. And that's when things started to get not so fun. He gave me the numbing injection into my back and I started to get some wicked myofacial spasms - they were rocking and twisting my body. I fought them and ended up just trying to take myself mentally to another place and began to run through my old skating warm-ups. We finally got to a place when he could begin the block- and that's when we realized that I wasn't really numbed up totally...and I felt the needle snake it's way up my back...I sucked in air quickly and was offered another numbing injection, but rather potentially have some additional spasms - I just gritted my teeth, declined and continued on with my warm-ups in my mind. It was finally over and they walked me over to the recliners to recover, and went to get Paul to wait with me. They were concerned that I would potentially faint.... I sat, tried to not cry and finally we left. I came home and crashed...CRASHED! I laid down at 11:30 a.m. and the next thing I knew it was 8 p.m. and Paul was trying to wake me up to eat a hot pretzel and watch the men figure skating final! I did fairly well - I had some dinner with Paul, enjoyed watching Evan win and heated my back....and then later that night -it happened. I was in the bathroom to brush my teeth- Paul was already asleep in bed. All of a sudden I felt a "whoosh!!" and I felt like I saw bright white stars and a black hole was closing in on me fast. All of a sudden, gravity was becoming a factor times 10. I tried to call out Paul's name, and I knew that I was way too close to our shower/sink corner and that was dangerous, I tried to turn and reach out...and the next thing I knew, I woke up on the floor. I was sprawled out, twisted up and I felt that I caught the edge of our sink the entire way down from the base of my waist up to my head...OUCH! I laid there, with Emma coming to my side for quite some time. I was scared to get up, scared of fainting again. I finally half-walked, half-crawled to bed and hoped to wake up not feeling too awful the next day.
As you can see, I bruised up my back...but I don't think all of the bruising has come to the surface just yet. I feel like someone beat me with a baseball bat. I am so sore, so very beat up and honestly - I am not feeling the relief that I did from the first block. I had the warm feeling in my foot like I did from the last time, but I have not had the relief from the pain, I have not had the same results as last time...luck one thing is always constant....my guardian angle, my protector and my best buddy - Emma Lu is always there, watching over me, by my side, making sure I'm ok!! :)
