Life is strange. Really strange. Lately, I have found the strange in life to be disappointing, heartbreaking, sad, depressing... anything but happy. I have always been a believer in fate, karma, things that are meant to be. I have always loved it when something just falls into place, when the stars align...I've been that kind of dreamy, sappy girl. I blame it on the books and the old school Hollywood movies I watched with my Ole Gram. After all, somehow Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn always seemed to have a happy ending, a twist of fate that ended just right.
I was flying home from the Cleveland Clinic - a long lonely trip that was proving to be difficult to the end. I made it onto an earlier flight in Cleveland- they were worried that they may have to shut down due to a snowstorm. When I arrived in Detroit, the weather didn't look much better. Due to the spinal block- I was not moving at my fastest...well, I was proud to be moving at all under my own steam (thank goodness I'm stubborn!). Unfortunately, as the pain meds were wearing off, waves of nauseous were hitting me like waves battering a shore line. The pain in my spine from the injections, the pain from forcing myself to move and drag and carry luggage- when I should be resting and laying down and icing...was starting to take it's toll. As I look at the brightly lit board in front of me, I weighed my options. I missed the earlier flight out to FL, was near my gate but the ONLY thing that sounded good to my delicate tummy was a Charlie's sandwich. That, of course, was at the other end of the concourse. I sighed, tugged my tote bag onto my carry-on and slowly shuffled my way to the moving walkway.
Normally, I am one of those people that speeds down the moving walkway. I like to move- make way people! I hate to feel like a poke...even when I feel stumbly and tired- I like to push myself- to feel normal. Today was not my day. I looked down, focused (yes, I squinted) and gingerly stepped onto the moving sidewalk..and proceeded to not move a muscle. Until I had to switch to the next moving sidewalk. It was perhaps the slowest I have ever gone the length of a terminal. I made my way down there, placed my order and inhaled the spicy, yummy scent - and said a quick prayer that it would stay down!
I debated what was best. Normally, I would take my sandwich, head to my gate and settle in. This would not be a good time to try. I had my hands full. I couldn't juggle one more item - I couldn't try to carry one more item. So, I sat down, pulled out my book and dug in, head down. After licking the last of the hot sauce from my finger tips, I sighed, counted out my evening pills, washed those down, again hoping they would stay down - and tried to get up the energy to make my way back to my gate. Paul told me to get help, find a cart to take me to the gates...but...I'm stubborn. And I let pride get in my way. Which is stupid. I admit it.
As I stood on the walkway, moving slowly back to my gate- I watched the people on the opposite track move past me. Some moved at brisk paces, eager to get to their gates. Others gathered children and the various items associated with traveling with kids (which apparently is a 1:10 ratio). Then, then I saw what seemed to be a familiar-ish face. One from the past...one I haven't seen in -oh, 15 years. I squinted, wondered if it was the drugs kicking in...wondered if i was just hallucinating out of sheer pain...and then I heard myself shouting out his name "Hey! Kevin! Kevin XXXX!" Oh lord! I immediately had the thought process scream through my head that 1) what are the odds 2) I haven't seen in him 15 years, what if it IS him and he doesn't recognize me and 3) holy moly I'm loud!! But in that amount of time- he smiled, yelled back "S--?!" and told me to wait at the end - he'd come back around.
I immediately felt as though I was in a movie. REALLY? Did I really just see someone that I haven't talked to, let alone laid eyes on in 15 years? I smiled, stepped aside and waited at the end of the walkway for him to double back. Holy cow- it was Kevin! We joked- where do you start? How do you start- it's been 15 year!! We both came out with we're married - he immediately had to know what my new name was! We checked the boards- both of our flights were delayed - so we sat down at the gate and started talking. First off - his family. How were they? How was his Dad? How were his brothers? I kept rattling off questions..but was stopped in my tracks. His youngest brother, Andrew, passed away five years ago after a 4-year fight against leukemia. That knocked me -took the breath out of me. Andrew was a sweetie. He had downs syndrome but never ever let that stop him- and that never let Kevin stop fighting for him too! Kevin took care of Andrew -was his best buddy. My last memory was our skating competition up in Buffalo - going bowling together- my first time bowling - and Andrew couldn't believe I had never bowled. He was sweet - and funny - and a real doll. We went to relax before my event - and we did just that - lot's of laughing, lot's of smiles. And I hope that where ever he is he's happy and smiling and out of pain.
We caught up on happier subjects, continued on with mutual friends and how they are doing...and how very random it was to run into each other. I almost didn't make it into Detroit because of the snowstorm. Kevin almost didn't make it into the airport b/c of said storm as he was driving to the airport and his commute was double to get there. However, both of us arrived, both of us just happened to be on that moving sidewalk, both looking up, both just there.
It was nice to be slapped in the face by fate, and to not have it hurt. To have it be something that made me smile. Yes, there were times that I had tears in my eyes - and it's always hard to discover that someone -that up until that moment, had been alive in your life, in your mind - has passed away.
It was a wonderful visit. A wonderful time spent at the gate reminiscing and laughing. As I fiddled and held my iPod in my hands, shifted uncomfortably in my seat as we taxied down the last open runway, I couldn't help but smile, laugh and think about how amazing it all was. How so many little things had to line up to coincide our meeting... And that made me smile and hope that maybe, all of these things that I'm experiencing now - hopefully I'll look back and they'll just be little things. And they'll have just been lining up to take me to a wonderful place.
In the meantime, I'm going to try to remember to look around as I navigate life...even on the days I'm immobile, forced to hold back and let others pass me by...because you never know who else is coming along. Who you might meet. Who you might catch a glimpse of when you aren't in such a hurry.
